...the more lesson I should learn...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you. . .

Day of the Sun,
26th dawn of the Month of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis

10th day in the life of a Slave

Silver Linings of a Slave

They say, every dark cloud have its silver lining. . .

The Demon never really knew what these meant. For him, dark clouds would forever be dark clouds – marking a dull damp day. Such a day that would dampen not only the carcass that bears one name, but also the soul that the brought meaning to the name.

How wrong was the Demon. . .

The things that the Demon witnessed prove him wrong. A slave he is still. Enslave he will forever be. That's a fact that none could contend. Or could it not? Not for no one to answer at this moment. Not a thing that none should care for this moment.

What is important though, the lessons that the Demon has, is and would learned.

Beautiful truly is this day was. Tis' the day when the Slave, the Demon the Glorified Child of Agnus - Arrogant Prince of the Bay of Diamonds, is once again made a learner of the Forgotten Ways.

The duties as Adfero ended early today.

The Demon walks out through the gleaming glass doors to his ever loyal Musculus Servus, a being silver in color, to take him back to his Cave of Adumbration. Just outside of the door, sitting leisurely on the stone chairs that circled a stone table (it is a place where the Adferos of different ranks sat to mingle with each other), inhaling the Fumes of 4000 Banes - Captains of the Adferos, Male Goat Lee and his senior, Zoo the Hairy.

The Demon walks to them; took a seat and sat beside them - a gesture of respect.

Lesson Thought to a Slave 1.

"Demon, you will be serving Lock Man the Judge, Captain of the Adferos of the Day of the Sun come the first dawn of the Month of the God of War," says Male Goat Lee.

"Pardon me sire, I am still new me lord, there are hundredth of knowledge I still yet to learn as an Adfero. . . these shackles on my limbs would bring shame to the Oris of Astu. . ." replied the Demon with truthful shallow confidence.
"HAHAHAHAHA!" loudly does both of the Captains laughed.

"Demon, you have the trainings of a third level Apprenticeship of the Mercantors have you not?" asked Zoo the Hairy.

"Have you not the ability to use your mind and knowledge in the arts of the Mercantors?" asked Male Goat Lee, “and were you not the one who presented me this proffer to eagle eyed the Minions of the Moderarums?” continue Male Goat Lee.

"Truly me lords. . ." answered the Demon, humbled.

"Then you should sign no qualms no more. First dawn of the Month of the God of War, you will serve Lock Man the Judge. This is first of your trainings before I take you under my banner. You should know Demon, to be under my banner would mean you have to be able to brace the wrath of me. I am one of the guardians of hell in Oris of Astu," sternly state Male Goat Lee, "I take only the bold, strong, truthful and those who are invincible to my Labrum of Agnus."
"Indeed, indeed. . ." agreed Zoo the Hairy.

"All that is left Demon, is for you to master your anger, your eagerness to talk back and your ego," firmly does Male Goat Lee reminded the Demon, "I abhor arrogance in a learner".

"As you will sire," bowed the Demon.

In his flailing mind, the Demon contemplates. How foolish he is not to see the gifts that the One True Master has given him. The Captains have indeed see this in him thus be the reason for the Demon to be handed this responsibility – this trust.

A burden it is, no doubt - a sweet burden, sweeter than the honeys of haven.

Now understood the Demon why has saw what he sees in during the ten days that have past since he first became a Slave to the Slaves of Lucre.

He understood now why the Miser Lady would sacrifice wealth for a veil. It is for the honor of her faith. And why the Lords that claims to be the champion her plight lowered themselves like peasants and salute the Demon as a lord. To seek honor from the honors meant only for the One True Master.

He understood now why does the Denied Agripetas seek his help them in their land-war against the Keepers of the Cove of Mud. It is the Demon duty to the oppressed, as thought by Path of the Forgotten.

He understood now this is his submission.

_______________oo0oo_______________

In another time, another tale will come.
Maybe, of the things that the Demon saw as a Slave to a Slave.
But for now, the Demon would rest.

_______________oo0oo_______________

GLOSSARY

Agripeta = squatter
Astu = city
Labrum = large lips
Denied Owners of the Land = squatters in one of KL’s many villages
Domicus = owner
Forgotten Ways = (ask your self what is the Forgotten Ways)
Lucre = money
Mercantor = trader
Moderarum = steerer
Musculus = small mouse
Miser = sad
Oris = mouth
Servus = deer

_______________oo0oo_______________

...to more I have to yield...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you. . .

Day of the Diminution,
23rd dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis

7th day in the life of a Slave

Heart of a Slave

A slave shackled with the Chain of Crudus Animae shall have no claim on none. All that has flow from the shackled limbs of the slave shall be mark property of the Master that is A Slave. All that he own, he owned no more.

Not even his heart. . .

The light of this day seem seemingly searing. The Demon greatly hesitates to lift the lids of his hollowed eyes for every time the eyelids lift, a drop of a man shame drops. Every time the lids kiss each other, the fear of a man screamed. The Demon could neither be awake nor be let to slumber.

"Sleep is just a word for a Slave to a Slave of Lucre. . ." whispered the invisible walls that prison the Demon.

This slavery that the Demon is in, is a choice made by the forceful willingness of a strayed heart. A heart that answer to all less the chest that it resides in. Much like a bitch's bastard, the Demon's heart heeds not his call. It is not the fault of the heart but the demented compassion and love of the Demon, the so called master.

Compassion and love, great emotions but if one is not weary and not learn to have them as one own, they would turn to such torturous tortures if. To let them free would be similar to letting a bastard run without a leash. Who so ever chance by the bastard and leash it, would be his master.

"HA HA HA! Stupid being! If such is the notion, why must you so ignorantly have them? Why should you love and be compassionate if its you who would be marred when Apollo sets down to rest? HA HA HA. . . Stupid being!" laughed the lords that reign in the Demon’s brimstone heart.

"Because I need to love. Because I need to be loved. . ." whim the Demon.

A slave shackled with the Chain of Crudus Animae shall have no claim on none.

Not even his heart. . .

A slave shackled with the Chain of Crudus Animae have no rights to neither beg for understanding, compassion nor be given the crumbs of love. Instead, it is the duty of the slave to give them in great numbers. He should always yield to his Domicus Amoris' will and whimpers. Even the direction to where the corners of his lips points to is not his own.

A slave shackled with the Chain of Crudus Animae is the lowest of all Pariahs.

_______________oo0oo_______________

I, Slave

The flight of my heart,
brought no winds but storms,
to the shadows that I hoped,
to shade me from the jeers of the sun.

Thus to the sky,
these hand I give,
so that my heart would die,
so that the shadows are free to flow.

Whip O sky,
the front of my back,
so the blood that flows,
would make the flowers grow.

Take O sky,
these drops of a man shame,
so that O mighty sky,
the earth shall not cry.

Bow do I to you O sky,
as a slave that is I.

_______________oo0oo_______________


In another time, another tale will come.
Maybe, of the things that the Demon saw as a Slave to a Slave.
But for now, the Demon would rest.

_______________oo0oo_______________

GLOSSARY

Crudus = bleeding
Animae = breath of life
Lucre = money
Adfero = (try guessing)
Cor Cordis = seat of emotions
Aevum = time of life
Apollo = sun god
Domicus = owner
Amoris = love

_______________oo0oo_______________

...days like these would never end...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you...

Day of the Mundane,
20th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis.

A Slave to a Slave

Today marks the fifth dawn that the Demon rises from slumber as a shackled being. Marking him as a slave are limbs shackled by Chain of Crudus Animae. The chain is made from pieces of beating hearts, soft yet very much yielding. Enslaved is the Demon by this chain, sold is the Demon to the Slaves of Lucre by the smiths of this chain.

An Adfero or any other form of trade does not in essence abhorring, but, when one embraced it as a man sold, it would be. Thus become the embracer a Slave. This form of slavery would differ in definition based on the flame and metal used in casting the chain to form. For the Demon, this slavery is a trade for the liberation of love curse. It is a trade made with his freedom as the barter. The trade master that oversees this trade is Lord Aetas, enigmatic servant to the One True Master, wielder to the Whip of Cor Cordis.

This slavery is disheartening to a half-life such as the Demon. As an outcast to both the living and the dead, the Demon is free to intertwine his existence in both worlds. But, as a slave to a slave of Lucre this ability would strangle him, rendering him into a zombie-like existence, where by the passing of every grain of Aevum, would adds more to the mountain that separates him from the dwellers of his House of Cor Cordis.

And today marks the fifth day dawns that the Demon rises from slumber as a shackled being.

And today mark the first day droplets of Solivagus falls from the Demon hollowes eyes.

oo0oo
In another time, another tale will come.
Maybe, of the things that the Demon saw as a Slave to a Slave.
But for now, the Demon would rest.
oo0oo

________________________________________________________________________

GLOSSARY

Crudus = bleeding
Animae = breath of life
Lucre = money
Adfero = (try guessing)
Cor Cordis = seat of emotions
Aevum = time of life

________________________________________________________________________

...the more tired i'll get...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you...

Day of Diminution,
16th Dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis.

Well whaddya know, the Demon is once again a to a slave of the Lucre. From a free mercantor to an Adfero. This be the first day of the days like before where the Demon will once again lost all of his inner sanctuary and serinity. But, what to do? Nobody says that the journeys we have to go trough in the Kingdom of Aetas is gonna be easy...


_______________________________________________________

=GLOSSARY=

__________

Lucre = Money/Wealth

Aetas = Life

Adfero = well, its a latin word that you have to find out the meaning yourself coz I'm keeping dear to the anonimity thing.

Mercantor = Trader

_______________________________________________________

...the more humble I got...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you...

Day of the Weakening,
15th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis.

THE TREE OF WISDOM

Eyes closed in total calmness, with sweet serenity conquering his brimstone heart, rest the Demon - Glorified Child of Agnus under the shade of this aging tree of Wisdom. Such luxury this rest is in his never ending journey in this realm of the intangibles. To rest under the shades of such trees is indeed a luxury it is that no bed of kings could ever contend...

It is by the will of the One True Master that the Demon chance upon this tree, a surprising blessing for the Demon. Long has he traveled trough the dark shadows of the Forest of Aetas. Scarred and scratched by the many torn of the tree Aetas and the beasts that reside in its shadows, enervate the Demon has nearly become. The shadows of Aetas would render a man blind, and blind the Demon nearing to be. The sweet sap of the trees of Aetas would seem to be the elixir of life to a naïve mind, but in truth, it would only burn a thirsty throat and quench no thirst. Long has the Demon traveled the Forest of Aetas and weary does he feels.

Until fate chance him with this beautiful aged tree...

It has been a very long while that the Demon sees this type of tree. Like the great Oaks and ancient Sequiras of the land in the west, this type of tree has enormous trunks that signify the strength of the wood beneath the wrinkled bark. The wrinkled barks itself marks the trials of nature that the tree has endured. The canopy crown seems to touch the foot of haven and shade the entire base of a mountain, marking the depths and width that it roots has conquered. Though there is a hollowing or two on its trunks, it marred nor rots nor depletes the sturdiness of the tree. Surrounding the base, were seven healthy seedlings marking the richness and grandeur of the nutrients of the wisdom tree falling leaves. The sap that flows quench not only the thirst of wanderers but also lifts the weaken spirit. There are markings indicating this tree hails from seedlings from the City of the Queen. City of the Queens, a place the Demon is very fond of and frequently visits when he was the Arrogant Prince. But that is a different tale for a different time.

Eyes closed in total calmness, with sweet serenity conquering his brimstone heart, rest the Demon - Glorified Child of Agnus under the shade of this aging tree of Wisdom. Laying gratefully under the sweet serenade of the its falling leaves, he silently pray that the One True Master would forever guard this tree from the gregarious wrenched weeds of the Forest of Aetas. So that wanderers such as him might find a bit of solace in their treacherous journey from the Kingdom of Aetas to the Lands of Naturae.

The Tree


O tree in this path that ends not,
with crowns of green that make gold worth not,
with trunks that quakes not,
with shades that comfort lots,
with roots imbedded in depth known I not,
my prayers for you would never rot

for from ye a wanderer has got,
a spirit that thy has shade from rot,
a thirst thy that thy sap let not,
a hunger that thy fruits has slaughtered,
makes one wonders not,
why thy roots time intentionally forgot.

..the more the past will haunt me...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you...

Day of the Mundane
13th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis,

MERAH
(this one for you kiddo)

The Arrogant Prince, the former form of existence of the Demon, stood by the side of the small grave; reminiscence of that fateful day where his path crosses with this friend of his flows vividly in his mind. "I will miss you much Merah..." he whispered to the winds. Slow streams of tears trickle down his cheeks. Funny, a soulless being like him shedding tears for an eagle.

Five summers ago while, the Arrogant Prince, still an apprentice of the at the Ivory Tower of the Forgetful Tribe, was traversing the pebbled pathway to his tutors’ laboratory, did a weak faint shriek of an eagle caught his attention. He brisk the bushes on the sides of the pebbled pathway up to the edge of the buffer forest curiously seeking the source of the shriek. After a few blows of heavy breaths of brushing the bushes, there in front of him, did he find a fledgling eagle lay helplessly on the ground. It seems that the full grown fledgling has fallen down from his nest. Fear and death characterized the fledgling red eyes.

As the Arrogant Prince steps closer to the fledgling, an odd strength seems to sip the fledgling. He lifted his head, opened up his claws trying to thwart the advancing Arrogant Prince stopping the prince in awe.

"Even in the state that you are you still manage to find courage to fight" says the Arrogant Prince to fledgling. "Base on that my feisty little friend, I shall call you Merah".

Cautiously and with great care did the Arrogant Prince once more advanced. With his robe he gently blanketed the weak yet feisty fledgling and took him to the tower where he resides. There, with much difficulty and a few cuts from the feisty fledgling, the Arrogant Prince managed to treat the fledgling. The feisty fledgling has broken both of its wings explaining why he lay so helplessly on the ground where the Arrogant Prince had found him. It took the fledgling a full three months to recover during which, a friendship has developed between man and beast.

To the fledgling, now a full grown eagle, it might be a friendship base on gratitude. To the Arrogant Prince, it is a friendship that humbles him with great lessons from the One True Master. The once weak eagle has become the majestic bird that he was intended to be. It is time to part. On a bright shiny day, the Arrogant Prince took Merah to the top of the Ivory Tower of the Forgetful Race. Merah, in the last month of his recovery has managed to learned the essentials of flight by himself; but for reasons only known to the One True Master, he would not fly far from the Arrogant Prince tower. But the Arrogant Prince knew in his heart that Merah has to go; it is his destiny to roam free from this invisible cage of attachment. It is how things are.

Today is the day.

As if he understood the reason why the Arrogant Prince has brought him to the top of the Ivory Tower, Merah flew away with such finesse and majestically. That was the last day both of them would be in each other presence. Three summers have past since that day. Occasionally, the Arrogant Prince would catch sight of Merah hovering high up in the sky looking for prey and eventually Merah would leave a prey or two at the Arrogant Prince verandah.

A lovely mess, a gesture of unspoken friendship.

Until that saddening day.

That morning, two summers four cycles of Diana the Moon Goddess ago, the Arrogant Prince woke up with a strange heavy heart. As he was traversing the pebbled pathway to his tutors’ laboratory, did a weak faint shriek of an eagle caught his attention. He brisk the bushes on the sides of the pebbled pathway up to the edge of the buffer forest curiously seeking the source of the shriek. After a few blows of heavy breaths of brushing the bushes, there in front of him, did he find the source of the shriek.

There lays Merah, lifeless.

The Arrogant Prince stood by the side of the small grave; reminiscence of that fateful day where his path crosses with this friend of his flows vividly in his mind. "I will miss you much Merah..." he whispered to the winds "I will always remember to be like you".

"Never to break down in tears or to surrender to fate even life is walking away from my body."

"Never to give up hope even though hope hates me much."

"Never not be the one I am intended to be though it means my heart be broken, my existence is shaken."

Vows flew from the Arrogant Prince’s mouth as his tears drop to the ground.

"Good bye my friend."

...the more people i will hurt...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you…

Day of the Mundane
13th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis,

Errrmmmmph……MELAYU
(NO OFFENSE INTENDED PART 2)

(This is going be a long boring one as I might have unintentionally offended some people when I posted a comment in Bergen’s blog. This entry is intended to state my opinion of my race which many have regarded me to simply label them as not being Malay by the questions and/or argumentation that I have so unintelligently gave. Forgive me if this post bores you to death. [Note: I’ve hyperlink the segment title to the source it was taken from])

The Demon is much than more proud to be Malay. Although, the Demon might not wear the traditional clothing, be so very conversant in Bahasa Melayu, be as cultured and as knowledgeable and learned many of the other Malays out there, the Demon is proud to be one of the back-stabbing, lazy, backwards, and not-so-bright Malays. During the past few instances that he has visited the beautiful realms of Master(s) Gukita, Bergen, Abedid, Pok Ku and a few others, the Demon’s mind begins to wonder why is it many of us (including himself accept for a few such as the mentioned masters) takes so very lightly of this language of ours and its traditional medium. Maybe, just maybe, thought the Demon, that the language and its medium have become obsolete and so lacking in vibrant that he and most people sees no importance in taking the matter seriously. The Demon IS, by the way a TYPICAL MALAY.

But, if the language and its traditional medium has become obsolete and so lacking in vibrancy, why is then, trough his TYPICAL MALAY reading , he has found such lengthy and in-depth meaning of these two words – AKAL and BUDI?

AKAL

Akal is an Arabic - origin concept ('aql in Arabic) that is of central importance among Malays and other Muslims in Southeast Asia and beyond. The term denotes ‘reason’, ‘intelligence’, and ‘rationality”, the ability to evaluate alternative courses of action and render informed judgments, and is widely used in Malay culture in connection with ‘passion’ and ‘shame’. As mentioned earlier, it is often said that akal (hereafter ‘reason’) distinguishes humans from the rest of the animal world and is our special gift from God; and that ‘reason’ ‘works together’ both with the hati (or liver, the seat of emotions) and with iman (faith, strong belief or trust in God, resoluteness, sincerity) to guide the individual along the proper path(s). ‘Reason’ and ‘passion’ forever struggle against one another within the individual, and that ‘good behavior’ (budi baik ) is evidence of the preponderance, however temporary or qualified, of ‘reason’ over ‘passion’, just as ‘bad behavior’ (budi jahat ) reflects the dominance, however short-lived or partial, of ‘passion’ over ‘reason’. ‘Shame’ (malu) is relevant here as well, for it, too, acts as a ‘brake’ on ‘passion’ and its expression or realization in social action.

Diligent observance of Muslim prayer procedure and other religious strictures is one way to help develop one's ‘reason’. Conversely, the cultivation of ‘reason’ through concentration and various types of mental and spiritual exercises entailing studied restraint facilitates proper prayer and other forms of religiously valued and morally virtuous behavior. Compared to children and adolescents, adults tend to take more seriously their (and to have more extensive) obligations as Muslims. This is one reason why adults are typically regarded as having more ‘reason’ than children and adolescents. Other reasons include their superior abilities (relative to children and adolescents) to make informed judgments based on experience in the world; their demonstrated capacities to perform the myriad tasks and activities associated with domestic maintenance, production, and the like; and, more generally, their greater control over their ‘passions’ and their more systematic internalization of and behavioral adherence to the moral norms of Malay culture; hence (given the explicit link between being Malay and being human), their stronger commitment to being human.

BUDI

The word ‘budi’ originated from the Sanskrit word ‘buddhi’, which means wisdom, understanding, or intellect. A Sanskrit-English Dictionary defines the meaning of buddhi as ‘the power of forming and retaining conceptions and general notions, intelligence, reason, intellect, mind, discernment, judgment…’ (Monier-Williams 1956:733). However, once this word was accepted as part of the Malay vocabulary, its meaning was extended to cover ethics as well as intellect and reason, in order to accommodate the culture and thinking of the Malays.

Budi now carries many nuances of meanings in the Malay world view and plays a pivotal role in every aspect of Malay life. It can mean intellect, as shown by the phrase akal budi, meaning ‘common sense’ or ‘healthy mind’. It can also carry the meaning of kindness or virtue, as shown in the last two lines of the famous pantun:

Pisang emas bawa belayar,
masak sebiji di atas peti,
hutang emas dapat dibayar,
hutang budi dibawa mati

(‘Sail away with a bunch of bananas/ one ripe fruit remains on the box/ Debts of money we can repay/ Debts of kindness, we take to the grave’).

Commonly, however, it can be denoted as ‘moral behaviour’ or ‘moral character/action’, like budi pekerti. It can also be understood as ‘discretion’ or ‘good judgement with flexibility’, when used in conjunction with akal (mind) and hati (feelings) and as reflected in budi bicara. Budi should also contribute to the practical aspect, in the form of budi daya. Overall, when we deal with the mind of the Malay, it is the ‘budi and its networks’ that determine their thinking (judgement), their moral attitudes, their goodness, and how an argument should be presented.

Pure budi can be led astray if not guided by the ethical aspect of budi. It should be noted that budi can also mean akal (mind) (dl arti kecerdikan menipu atau tipu daya) (Kamus Besar Bahasa Indonesia 1991:150), as in bermain budi, ‘to deceive’ by using the intelligence of mind, which is rather rhetorical in terms of argumentation. Rhetorical, in this context, refers to the common and popular meaning of rhetoric, which is normally considered as empty and abstract, flowery without content.

The Malay mind develops through a spectrum of akal budi and hati-budi, which encompass ‘mind-emotion-moralgoodness- practicality’ in their scales of decision-making. A wise person, budiman, should be thoughtful, considerate (berhati perut, literally means ‘has liver and stomach’, normally means ‘not cruel in decision’), and of good conduct, and his decision should be an enlightened and practical one that helps society towards prosperity. In order to understand the Malays’ thinking and their argumentation, we should, therefore, bear in mind that their purpose of argumentation is to ultimately search for truth, goodness, and beauty.

As early as 1891 Clifford, in his article ‘A New Collection of Malay Proverbs’, observed an interesting trend in Malay rhetoric: ‘In discussions among Malays, too, it is the man who can quote, and not he who can reasons, that bears away the palm’ (Clifford 1891:88). Clifford had a point in terms of dialectical argumentation. The Malays must have their reasons as to why they choose not to reason. As usual, reasons demand argumentation in return, which will perhaps bring the two parties (rhetor and opponent) into a state of confrontation. Compared to reason, quotations bring the opponents into a state of agreement, in terms of their cultural memory and the budi of their ancestors and cultural wisdom.

Budi is an entity which is non-dialectical and, therefore, hinders the true spirit of dialectical argumentation. It is the lack of dialectical argumentation that distinguishes the Malays from the Greeks. No doubt the application of budi in human affairs and human relationships is more humane, as we have seen earlier, but budi is something situational.

Compared to rationality, which is more confrontational, competitive, forceful, aggressive, and hostile, where attaining ‘truth’ and ‘winning’ is the purpose, budi encourages the opposite, which is non-confrontational, non-competitive, gentle, friendly, and succumbing (in the sense of giving in or giving way), because its final goal is consensus and compromise. Hence, I believe that it should be our responsibility to have a real understanding of rationality, budi, or even emotion, and their employment in our everyday affairs. The culture of budi, as I see it, should be adjustable to two different spheres, viz. rational-public sphere versus emotional-personal sphere.

Since the concept of budi has taken root as the middle path of argumentation, it is rather hard to fit it into the rational-public sphere, where the purpose of argumentation is the achievement of truth through rational persuasion and the search for knowledge is based on the concept of truth or falsehood, white or black. It cannot accommodate a synthesistic nature of both truth and falsehood, both black and white at the same time, or a positioning between these two polarities, or something which we could call a spectrum of truth. Budi, however, is something synthesistic and a-rational, which tends to compromise between both polarities as long as consensus and compromise can be achieved. Nonetheless, there are many realms of human communication which are a-rational. A-rational is used to differentiate it from irrational: whereas something which is non-rational may either be irrational or something that cannot be explained from the perspective of rationality (i.e. a-rational). In order to handle this irrational sphere, we should not be carried away by pure emotions.

The champion of truth through rationality might accuse the Malay budi of being two-faced, hypocritical, deceitful, or insincere in telling the truth. This claim is valid in one sense, but in another sense, we perhaps need more philosophical scrutiny and argumentation. For example, in the heat of the moment of a conflict, dialectical forcefulness will bring harm (that is, claim a life), and therefore one should ‘lie’ in order to preserve harmony. But this ‘lie’ should be untangled when the heat is over. This is the true spirit of ‘budi and its networks’.

...the i know i getting crazier...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you…

NO OFFENSE INTENDED

Day of the Ecclesiastical,
11th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis.

I AM REALLY, AND I MEAN REALLY REALLY TEMPTED TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT I HATE ABOUT WOMEN. BUT UNTILL I CAN CALM MY SELF OF MY ANGER AND HATRED OF THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES, AND UNTILL I CAN WRITE UNBIASEDLY, I'LL JUST SAY THIS...
TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, YOU ARE GOD'S ANGEL, A PRECIOUS GIFT TO THE WORLD...
SO BE LIKE ONE.
I Love You.

I wrote the above bit earlier tonight. Some might say I’m a chauvinist, some might agree with what I’m gonna jot down here. Be it what it may, bear in mind that this is base on what I have experienced. You have all the rights in the world to think and to say whatever you want to, but have mercy. I’m not as strong as I might seem.

Okay, here goes.

The Demon – the guy with the dumb thoughts

Big (as in fat), short in stature (as in bantut), ugly as in (as in when I stand in front of the mirror, it would surely shatters to pieces), not very smart (as in never fails to say and do dumb things) and (I did mentioned, did I not) ugly. He is the kinda guy where ladies would puke just by looking at his shadow (I am exaggerating, but it is true that the Demon is ugly). But nevertheless, he is blessed (or cursed, I am still figuring it out) with the chance to be with seven lovely Princesses in the past ten years of his life (its something like the Beauty and the Beast story lah with yours truly as the beast).

The Demon is a gentleman he is NOT. He does not know how to treat a woman well let alone know how to love a woman (which would explain six relationships failure that he had; the current one, only god knows how it would end). But even so, the Demon holds high respect and much love for the children of Eve. Why should he not? A woman womb bears him for nine long months. Out of a woman womb comes the great leaders, poets and men. Heck! Even prophets were born from a womb of a woman. So, does that not make women god’s angels? Hence explaining why did he wrote –

TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, YOU ARE GOD'S ANGEL, A PRECIOUS GIFT TO THE WORLD...

and upsets the statement –

MY ANGER AND HATRED OF THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES…

which would already been upset by the statement –

UNTILL I CAN CALM MY SELF OF

which to a superior mind than that of the Demon would surely know that the Demon is not thinking straight at the time he is writing the afore mentioned “hate and anger” statement.

The Settings Which Led to the Previous Entry

The Demon is just tired of having senseless quarrels with the Princess. Prior to this (I sincerely do not know what to classify this freaking entry as) the Demon was bedridden with fever. Like any pathetic hopeless romantics, he longs for a bit of TLC (not the notty notty TLC that you might think) – which the Princess (and five of the six Princesses before her) classified as being “mengada-ngada”. Fine! Point taken. So, the Demon decided to went back to his parents’ house. There he will surely get the TLC he longed for from his beloved mother and lovely lovely nieces and nephews (so what? He is a man but does that mean he has no right to be manja-ed?). Bad decision (so the Princess says) so very childish lah (so the Princess says some more).

Okay lah, the Demon is tired quarrelling, so he just says nothing (bad judgment I do so feel now). Long story short, the Demon has gotten better. So he decided that on Friday, after the night prayers he would go and have dinner with Princess (hey! The Demon love her much and miss her much) since it has been a week that the Demon have not had the chance to see her (due to the fever). Like usual, the Demon and the Princess would chat on the phone before the Demon go for dusk prayers. This is the point where the Demon’s already shambled head got further shambled.

In that chat, the Princess again so very articulately illustrated how childish it was for the Demon to go back to his parents’ for some TLC. The Demon retaliates by asking would she be here by his side (not literally lah – just a short visit only) and give him the TLC thing (again, not the notty notty thing you thought) if he did not went back to his parents’? She answered (if you haven’t guessed) NO, and again she articulately reminds the Demon that it is childish of him to go back to his parents’ for some TLC. Okay lah, the Demon (because he is tired of having senseless quarrels and because he love the Princess more than much) just step back. Later after the night prayers, he went out for dinner with the Princess. End of story? You wish!

After a lovely nasi beriyani (a dish that the Princess is so very fond of) dinner, the Demon drove her home. Whaddya know! The Demon and the Princess quarrel again (nice life the Demon has eh?). This time, the issue is the Demon does not think much of her. It begins when she asked the Demon of his dream. The Demon answered that he wish to be rich, so he would have a good life so that he could brings goodness to all (emphasis on the word all) a bit of betterment would come to the society at large. To her understanding, the word ALL would means everybody in this world except her. The Demon got so irritated lah (though he should not be, but helloooooo…he got feelings too) and said to her, “so you are saying that, I am working my butt (mind the word) out, have so very little sleep, accepting a job that would make me miserable just to find some extra money so that I could marry you sooner, having not enough rest just to see you come hail or gale and having more-than-I-should-have patient with your tantrums (and I do mean tantrums) is NOT thinking much of you lah?”. “Yes!” that the answer she gave the Demon. Long boring story short, the Demon sent the Princess home with a face and heart that would make the word sour seems to taste sweet (both of them actually).

(Note – in a previous entry I did mentioned that the Demon and the Princess broke up, but whaddya know, love can do strange things to people, they got back together.)

The Things That the Demon Hate About Women (at least those that he finds in the Princesses One to Seven)

(Note – this would not by any means meant that the Demon is generalizing all women to have such characteristics)

1. “I want you to be honest to me, but only if the honesty fits MY idea of honesty”

2. “I want you to tell me absolute truths about everything but my truths SHOULD always be greater than yours and I would have the absolute power to determine whether or not your truth IS the truth.”

3. “I want a man who loves and always be there for his family and by family I am referring to the family that we would have and MY SIDE of the family. Your family would be regarded as an extension of our family.”

4. “I want a man who is independent and hardworking not letting time go to waste but, in any instances where I want you to spend time with me you have to spend time with me even if you could lose your job by doing so.”

5. “I want you to think more of yourself and less about others – even your family, and by others I DO NOT mean that it would include me”

6. “I like a man who loves his mother very much, but that love should not be greater than the love you have for me.”

7. “I won’t clip your wings but you cannot spend more than an hour with your friend even if that friend has saved your live before.”

8. “I like you the way you are but I like the picture of you that I have in my head way much better.”

Okay, that is the story. I am not saying that the Princesses are bad, I think the fault is all mine. I am not that all women are bad but it is me who just do not know how to understand them better. Say what you want to say, but have mercy, I am not as macho as other men are. I am just a pathetic hopeless romantic.

CIAO.

...the more i'll make you mad...

assalamualaikum and peace be upon you...

I AM REALLY, AND I MEAN REALLY REALLY TEMPTED TO BLOG ABOUT WHAT I HATE ABOUT WOMEN. BUT UNTILL I CAN CALM MY SELF OF MY ANGER AND HATRED OF THE FEMALE OF THE SPECIES, AND UNTILL I CAN WRITE UNBIASEDLY, I'LL JUST SAY THIS...

TO ALL THE WOMEN OUT THERE, YOU ARE GOD'S ANGEL, A PRECIOUS GIFT TO THE WORLD...

SO BE LIKE ONE.

I Love You.

...the less worth i have...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you…

TO THE ONE WHO TRAVERSE THE COSMIC ABYSS

Day of the Diminutive,
9th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis,

Sitting on the brim of his Cave of Adumbration’s mouth, the Demon thoughts traverse trough the empty and black space of the cosmic abyss, to a time he dares not forgets...

Twas’ the time when blood still runs trough the Demon’s veins. He use to enjoy being in kitchen of the Regents’ castle. Back then, former Lady of the House, the Grand Regent is still amongst the living. The Demon has always loved her company, her wicked dishes, and her wise jokes. All is but a memory for him now.

During the times that the Demon spent with the Grand Regent, she always made it a point that the Demon does the loads of dishes in the sink. Among all of the things that the Demon loves about her, this is the one that he abhors the most.

Demon : Gramps, why must I do all these dishes? It is all dirty and wet, I hate it! Why don’t you ask the Princess Eye-lights or Princess Soft-light to do them? They would be married one day and would this not be a good practice for them? I am a man, men do not do this.

Grand Regent : Oh really? Tell me my little prince, what does a man do then?

Demon : A man should be learning how to fence and fight, how to rule and how to school. Those sort of things.

Grand Regent : Good point, dumb but still good point.

Demon : Dumb? Why?

(This is the point where the Demon is humbled)

Grand Regent : Dumb, because my sweet young prince, you see things like most men see things, dumb, because my sweet young prince, you wish to be like most men want to be, MEN. There are great lessons to be learned here in this dirty place, lessons that most men should learn before a man would yield a sword to fight or wear a crown to rule.

The Grand Regent then raises and walks to the Demon. She took the rag that the Demon used to wash the dishes.

Grand Regent : Look at this rag, what do you see little prince?

Demon : Nothing, it is just an old dirty rag with no use except to wipe all the oils and leftovers on these dirty dishes.

Grand Regent : Do you know, sweet child, that the rag was once a beautiful cloth? A cloth made for kings and queens. As time passes by, it worn out, its color faded and the beauty that it once has is no more. There are three lessons that you, my sweet little prince could learn.

The Grand Regent tells the arrogant Demon of the lessons of the rag.

Lesson one.

We are all made beautiful by the One True Master. We are all born like white linens. Like the weavers of wools, our parents paint the design that is the base of our existence. Some might have the colors of rainbows, and some might not. Like the traders and the thieves of the silk road, our parents might wore us with such pride or might trade us with such treachery, all depends on the trade of our bearers. But then, a cloth is cloth, beautiful yet ugly. Beautiful for the colors that defines the cloth, ugly as it has neither will nor thoughts of its own. The cloth lets other decide its fate; it has no faith in whatever form, unlike us, the living ones. A cloth turns into a rag because of this, but, we would never be a rag as the One True Master has given us the brains so that we could choose our path.

Lesson Two.

All of us are children and parents. It is the trick that time has; none of us would ever be able to deny this. As a child, we are no different than the white linen, so beautiful and so sweet. As a parent, we are no different than the master weavers who put the design on the cloth. As time change, the cloth is complete and ready to be sold. The opinion of the cloth would be the opinion of the buyers of the cloth. The cloth is either deemed to be good or bad, based on the judgments of the buyers. If it is good, all praise goes to the master weavers and vice versa. But, that is just it. When the cloths were made into robes of grandeur, or even the cloaks of thieves, the cloth would always deny the hands that wove it into existence. Just like us the living ones.

We blame our parents for the bad things that happen to us. Rarely we praise them for the good ones; hence putting logic to the above analogy. We usually forget that we have the imprints of our parents; be it bad or good. As we mature, should we continue to blame them for the black clouds of our life? Or could we not use the gift of mind that the One True Master has given us to ensure that the path forwards be filled with beautiful blooms; even if the soil that the blooms sprouts are ridden with dung of beasts of burden? “Remember, sweet little prince, from the compose of decaying beings does strong roots comes, and beautiful blooms blooms.” Says the Grand Regent.

Lesson Three.

A beautiful rag won’t always be beautiful. Just like the rags that we use to wipe out the spills on the floor or the leftovers on the dish, once beautiful and adored; now rendered into an existence wee bit above thrash. One must always remember that nothing in this world would last forever. A child would grow old, strength would diminish, looks would sag, and wealth would be gone. Therefore, it is important that we be humble and grateful to the blessings that we have in life even if it is the size of a grain.

Look unto others with grace and passion and love and compassions as we would never know when we would need others to look at us with grace and passion and love and compassions. A rag might lost it’s be beauty, but not its use. As long as there still be breathe in our chest, live life.

Sitting on the brim of his Cave of Adumbration’s mouth, the Demon thoughts traverse trough the empty and black space of the cosmic abyss, to a time he dares not forgets, to the lessons that made him what he is.

CLOTH

A cloth is cloth,
beauty with no worth,
if it shade not lust worth,
if it flows shamelessly to the winds of north,
if it sagged willingly to tunes of Goth.

A cloth is a cloth,
beauty with great worth,
if worn with mind broth,
if worn to give warmth,
if worn to guide couth.

A cloth is a cloth,
worth only to the body clothed.

...the more i would feel like this...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you…

Day of the Mundane
6th dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis,

The air in his cave of Adumbration is laden with sadness. A new found treasure seems inevitably would be beyond mortal grasp. Friendship, a new found one (or at least on his part), seems would only be materialized in this realm of intangibles and faceless beings. How odd does the Demon felt – to be drawn to the beauty of the man’s soul. Deep in the deepest parts of his brimstone heart, the Demon has unknowingly begun to set a foundation a shrine of great respect for this faceless friend.

The Wailer, as he comes to know him by. The words that he jotted down were the plan for the Demon's shrine of great respect. By what wounds of sorrow or by what galling of glees that made the Wailer sets his galleon’s sails to the land of the west, is beyond the comprehension of the Demon’s flailing mind.

To the wailing wailer, the Demon drinks to your safe journey. May the breath of The One and the wisdom of the Seventh Son of the Seventh Son brings Godspeed to thy galleon’s sail…

‘Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.’

Lyndon B. Johnson

An unworthy gift for you…

When the Wailer Wails

when the wailer wails,
an angel’s face thus turn to pale,
as if the sky marks the coming of gale,
as if abraham’s bosom be fed with food shy not of stale.

but wailing wailer know ye not?
tripe be thy tears not,
nor thy cries be left to rot,
nor thy veins be made to knots.

O wailing wailer know you this,
haven would barter the amity you miss,
with a blanket of bliss -
made of skin and flesh and a bit of hiss.

...the more squeking sound i make...

Assalamualaikum and peace be upon you…

The follies of...
(Master Shariman, sorry, cant help borrowing this title... I like it much)

Tis the time between then and now,
Day of the Ecclesiastical,
2nd dawn of the Festival of Purifications,
Year of the Caminus Canis

Unto the blank space of haven he stared. On rugged earth he laid. On crossed arms his head rested. To the winds he muttered. To the soul that touched the heart he intended...

When I Say I Love You

When I say I love you,
It means not I will betray you,
It means not I will leave you,
It means not I will lie to you,
It means not I will scar you.

When I say I love you,
It means lots I will honor you,
It means lots I will cherish you,
It means lots I will guard you,
It means lots I will always be by you.

When I say I love you,
I meant it form the heart,
Not just words that that lingers between the lips that parts,
Not just acts of a broken heart,
Not just to reap your hidden parts.

When I say I love you,
I said it so, so, true,
I said it for the goodness you made me do,
I said it for the greatness that I felt so true,
I said it for the man that I am when I am with you.

When I say I love you,
I am saying I really do.

Ahhh...

The wonderful feeling of being alive. It is not often that the Demon feels this lively... must be the air of festivities. The Small Eye Traders and the Followers of The One; two main tribes of this land celebrate their respective new year. A stark contrast between these two tribes; one celebrates the coming of a new year with such galore, the other, so very scantily. But then, that is just how things are... it must be the effect of the changes in time he guessed.

Such bliss to be able to rest on the green grass of laze – there is no mortal master to answer to as all are swamp with plans for the long days of rest. There are not fruits of Lucre to be pluck as the trees are in the off seasons. The tranquility that is so very rare.

The Demon has chosen to rest his travels at the Regents house; there would be a feast of grace there. All of the clan would be there. Such gathering has always brings joy to his heart. The elders and the young ones would congregate; they would laugh and they would talk and they would enjoy each other presence much. Such joy. Such happiness.

It has been five dawn since the feast of grace been held, but the sweetness still lingers. Now, the Demon lay down on his back savoring the sweetness he rarely tasted and much longed for. In this sweet moment of comfort, his mind glanced back to thirty summers that have gone him by.

He began to wonder...

As a single sperm, the worries of a man would only be to reach the ends of a woman womb and to enter that single ovum; both a legacy of lust (be it done with virtue or without). As the sands of time past the union of both legacies develops into a clog of blood. Trough out the nine cycle of the moon, the blood grew to form a being. Still, there is not much in its mind; just the simple things. The major things are for the mother or the father (if there’s one) to worried for. Such parasitic being we were then.

Then, the being is born as a child; sweet cute and cuddly... the so call Age of Innocence. We begin the first phase of our life. There are few segments of this first phase. It is all a learning curve. We learn to crawl, walk, run, talk; we learn the rudiments of life – fear, anger, hate, lust, love and many more. This is the phase when the worries of mind would be how to make our parents worry sick. Everything that we are was in contrast to those of our parents. Always, we wish that the hands that feed us and the wombs that bore us are the hands and the womb would be of those that feed and bore our friends. Rarely there is a different thought than that. Yet we allow ourselves to think that we are not parasitic beings.

Then we enter ourselves into the second phase of our life; where all the rudiments of life that we have learned are would be turn from theories to practical. We test and we are tested. We laugh at our foolishness and we cried at our parents wisdom. We pride ourselves of our achievements; we blame our parents of our follies. But, there is another factor that comes into play; the dreaded thing called Religion. We are post with the questions of to be or not to be? To be the conformists; or the odd one out? To follow or be followed? Freedom, in this phase would be an issue that would be perceived in an unconventional perspective. We are turn yet again from a parasite to a pseudo-symbiotic being.

Ahhh...

The Demon mind flails too much. The real question is what of the future to come not the past that has past him by.

In the tongue of his fore fathers he cry out loud

"KEME TIDO LAGI BAGUIH!"

hehehehe... the Demon is out of his mind.