...The more i see...

assalamualaikum, peace be upon you...

From the beginning of Syawal, to this day, 19th of Syawal, I have been like six-feet down. Nothing seems to work my way. I lost my transport, which leads to me being unable to do my work, which leads to a very sourfull relation with my gal, which (both of the aforementioned) lead to a very strainfull relation with my parents, which leads to a frown on my already ugly face, which leads to me being not happy (of which something that I really, really hate), which leads to me feeling angry almost all the time, and which lead to (this is something that I am very very ashamed of) me started to ask why is God doing this to me now.

Pretty fuck-up eh?

Not really. I brought this down on my self. You see, During Ramadhan (as you can read from my previous entries) I'm very very calm and happy. I knew then, that God works in mysterious ways. Everything has its purpose and functions. Everything happen for a reason. We should always be grateful and bow down to HIM.

But I seem to have forgotten that.

Pretty quick for humans forget eh? Yup, I did forget. I neglected my ibadah. I neglected to seek forgiveness from God. But worst of all, I blame HIM for the fuck-up things in my life. Some of you who read this must thought that I'm a religious freak. Heck! Even I my self thought so. But then one really small but significant (for me) thing happened today. For some odd reasons, I was really drawn to see "Shall We Dance".

So I watched it. And by God I really enjoyed it!

I was left with a really great smile on my face, and oddly, a sense of relief. A great sense of relief. I realize something - something that is really significant for me. Something that made me feel really great. Something that made me feel - and believe - that my life is not fuck-up but rather its a result of a forgetfully soul.

I realize that GOD LOVE ME.

What I learned from the movie is that, life is like ballroom dancing. Only this time, we are dancing with the perfect partner, the best choreographer - GOD. He knew, and always will know and understand us. HE has choreographed our steps so perfectly well and has selected the best tunes for us. But sometimes, we forget the tunes, we forget the steps, and we end up dancing to our own tune and steps. Our own tunes and steps that is filled with flaws.

Fill with flaws.

Yup! Our tunes and steps are riddled with flaws. The only way that we can correct it is by going back to the Choreographer. Look back at HIS design. Learn from it. Be it the meringue or waltz or quicksteps. Appreciate the choreographer. Be thankfull to HIM and have lots and lots of acceptance.

Accept.

Accept that we can't dance alone.

We need our partner.

We need our choreographer.

We need GOD.